Angel

I couldn’t have gone through college without you,  I never thought we would be best friends, but college life brought us together, but as I look back, I realized we don’t even have a common org. 

You saw me through my heartbreaks over the years, nobody knows me more than you do, and nobody fights for me the way you do. 

It has been almost six years since we graduated college, and we have really grown apart.  Though we see each other like only four times a year since then, I still know we are inseparable.  Life after college really took us, but somehow, between my corporate world and your reality we still made it through.

I was so happy to have you as my maid of honor, coz apart from my family, you are the only one closest to my heart.  Coz even though I have changed a lot since college (I know!) I am still that friend you knew. 

And that last night before I left,  I didn’t tell you how sad I was to leave, but I know you knew.   And all those months we rarely have correspondence, I know you have been busy, and I have been busy adjusting too, but even though we have not talked to each other lately, and we haven’t updated on each others lives, you are still that one person close to my heart.

And thank you, for believing in me when even I don’t believe in myself anymore.  And remember that day you were scolding me over yahoo messenger, you saved my life.

I know this is a little bit late, and you might not even be able to read this (I know friendster’s not your thing), anyway, belated Happy Birthday.   I love you friend. I thank God I have you.

     Seeing that I have been a bum for a while, might as well make something productive over my free time.  Yes, I have been busy too, running errands, doing stuff for my husband, the usual housework, taking time to entertain myself (and my house mate) with a few visits to the mall, and what takes the chunk of my everyday living — Internet.  But with all of these things, I feel that I have a lot of time to waste.  Here enters my hobby.

     I used to do a lot of cross-stitching way back high school, I even have this huge project on Queen Anne which I haven’t finished in over 10 years, yes, 10 years.  I even devoted some of my time in philately, my collection of which has been left at my parent’s house, I still do that today, but I haven’t done some minting lately.  And my books, oh my precious books!  I have a box full of them with me when I migrated, and about 2 shelves more back home.  I really really love to read since I was in elementary, probably a hobby I got from my dad who has a huge collection of books collecting dust in their place.  I have a lot more of hobbies to list, but I’d probably go on forever.

     Finally, photography, I have been a fan since I was a child, something I got from my dad too… oh yes, I am a daddy’s girl.  My dad has a modest collection of old   antique cameras that he would show off to us, reason why my siblings and I grew up with the love of photography. 

     I have been into photography since the days of the 35mm film cameras, but it has been so costly with all the films you need to purchase and to have developed.  My first digital camera experience was in December of 2003 when hubby and I bought our SONY DSC V1.   I have taken modest pictures with it, well, they are personal and are mere products of self taught photography, let me show you some of my V1 pictures:

tea light/votive candle holders

bee on a pink sunflower

rose buds at the Riverfront Park, Shreveport, Louisiana

     Just recently, hubby’s SONY DSC P150 got stolen, and my V1 has been passed on to him to use for work, and I have nothing to use for my hobby or at least take pictures of myself and Irene during the snow (yeah, we used our camcorder to take the still images of our first NC snow).  But weeks later, I received a large box addressed to my husband, and with his permission, I opened it and its contents blew me away leaving me screaming with surprise.  It was a complete package of a Digital SLR!  There have been a few problems regarding it’s contents, re: wrong lenses shipped, incomplete accessories, etc, etc.  But long story short, though I am still waiting for the other lenses (correct ones), I am now taking my hobby to the next level with a Canon EOS 30D, thanks to my hubby =).  I am still learning its features, and everyday is a new learning experience for me.  Here are a few shots I have taken in my pursuit of knowledge, so to speak:

my starbucks mug during a learning session, my constant companion

our lamp shade, while practicing.

     I could go on and on about my hobby, but I will not bore my readers (if there are) anymore.   

     For more of the amateur pics please visit my gallery at my pbase account and you could maybe leave some comments so I can improve my style.  Thanks!

   Funny how things go upside down in just a few weeks, I didn’t know what went wrong.  Maybe this is what happens to a wife who lives apart from her husband.  I don’t know, but, I may be depressed.

   I can’t explain my melancholia, it’s an all of a sudden gush that almost ate my entirety.  I hardly know myself anymore.  I used to be this strong, assured woman, but now, I don’t know where that woman went, I am like a different person.  Nobody could ever mouth the words "kawawa ka naman" to me coz they know how I hate it when other people take pity on me, but now, I pity myself.

   I know my married life is far from perfect, but I can see how it improved over the months, I have already adjusted to the changes, and I can say that I am pretty happy with how our relationship managed the struggles that life poured out on us.  But I can’t help being down again.  Down because I realized, without my husband, I hardly have a life.

   That’s where self-pity came in.  I don’t know who I am now apart from being a wife to my husband.  Of course I will always be a daughter to my parents, and a sibling to my brothers and sisters, and a friend to my friends.  Don’t get me wrong, I am happy to have these roles.  But my life stops there.  I no longer have a job, I can’t even go far from 2 miles away from our apartment without bugging our friends to come rescue us.  Can’t even enjoy a cup of coffee with a good book at the local cafe. 

   I used to help fight to change the world, but now, I can hardly change the way I live.

It was quite a year from me, a lot of changes, a lot of adjustments, so let me racap my life for the past year.

January

- Came back after a six weeks vacation from the US.

- Resigned from SMART Communications, the company I have worked for, for 4 years and 3 months.  This is my first formal job which I resented during the first half of my stay, but when I was already leaving, my heart couldn’t take the pain, I have grown to love my job and my colleagues that If I didn’t have to leave, am sure to be still working there at this time.

February

- Got married (see my blog at http://www.katecent.blogspot.com).  Getting married was so stressful that I shed off all the weight I gained from vacationing from Nov-Dec 2005.  It was the biggest event I planned in my entire life and I am glad that we pulled it off.  Being married was so overwhelming that I couldn’t help but cry several times from the preparation to the reception. 

March

- Went to our honeymoon of course =).

- Left my country, my life as I was used to it and my family to embrace my new life.  It was the hardest thing I had to do in my 25 years of existence, leaving my country and the way I lived was hard enough, my friends can attest as to how I love my mother land and how happy I am living my life, but leaving my family, it was heartbreaking.  I couldn’t get myself to say my goodbyes, I know it was not permanent, but I love my family so much that I don’t know if I can live 8,000 miles away from them for who knows how long.  In the end, I embraced the fact that I am now married and have a new life ahead of me with the one I love.

-  Started a new life with Bong, my loving husband.  It was hard at the start, a whole new adjustment for me and for both of us.  As we all know, I am not really well known for being a homebody as I can be always seen at the mall, gym or at the cafe.  Somehow I learned to cope with doing household chores and being alone at the apartment during the day except on weekends when my hubby would take me to malls, parks or other tourist spots.

April

- I had a mild depression probably because of the everyday routines of doing nothing but chores, hehe.  Seriously, I had trouble letting go of my life as it was before.

- Hubby and I celebrated our annivesary (boyfriend-girlfriend) at Asheville, NC.

May-June

- celebrated my 1st birthday away from my parents and siblings but I had 2 months of celebrating it as hubby’s bday present, it’s a different way of celebrating my birthday, but it was a very happy one.

July

- I had one of my poems published for the 2nd time in a coffee table book, I was so happy because unlike the 1st time, I was able to buy the book now.

- We moved to another apartment and got so stressed that I gained at least 5 lbs from binging. 

- My sister gave birth to her son, Johan Ezekiel, first pamangkin in our family and we are just so excited to see him when we go home in the Philippines this year.

August-October

- We moved to Shreveport, Louisiana for hubby’s work but left our things behind in Raleigh.  It was a difficult adjust for both of us, the weather was terrible and our first hotel room was so cramped.  Luckily, by mid-September we were able to move to a better hotel.

- Gained 10 lbs. Our 1st hotel didn’t have a kitchen so all we had to eat were microwavable frozen dinners not to mention we oftentimes eat out at Chinese Buffets or Buffets in Casinos which are by the way plentiful in the Shreveport area.

- My sister in law gave birth to her daughter, Izzy, after seven years of waiting, God gave them a gift.

November-December

- We moved back to Raleigh and are now sharing an apartment with Enyel and Irene.

-  Lost 14 lbs probably in the process of moving here and there.

-  Happy to finally be back here in our first home in US with a lovely weather and great friends.

-  Happy to finally have my hubby for the whole two months to myself because he didn’t have project at that time.  He really needed the break from all the stress from work and I am on the verge of losing my sanity from being by myself most of the time.

So there, my 2006 in a not so nutshell… =)

It was a very important year for me, there have been a lot of changes, a lot of adjustments, but what’s important is the lessons I have learned from all of these experiences, and that hubby and I are together.

I know, I know… I haven’t updated in a while…

Alright… it wasn’t just "a while", my last post was…. well, that’s how long it is already…

There have been drastic changes in my life… and we have been busy… busy moving from here and there… until finally, we’re settled…for a year maybe…and after that…who knows…but as for the moment, I’m nestling, in a space we still cannot call our own.

     *smile*

     I can’t believe am smiling, much less laughin’ at this moment, inside this cramped hotel room of ours.  I was checking my multiply blog and read Oliver’s reply to a post a made:

    "aha, this The One with I Don’t Wanna Be by Gavin Degraw?

hehehehe (still haven’t got over it)"

     Weeks ago we had a small chat over YM about my Blog titles here in Friendster which most often starts with "The One With.." except for titles of poems or songs.   I can’t believe that until now he’s still teasing me with it. 

     For those who are also curious with my Blog titles, it’s just a show of

Me, Oliver & Tina at Gerry’s Grill Eastwood, my bday 2005

fascination with the TV series FRIENDS, the first TV series I loved before I got hooked up with Smallville, Gilmore Girls and Charmed, in that order.   Notice that Friend’s episode titles often start with "The One With.." except for their first and last episode which are titled "The Pilot" and "The Last One" respectively.

     He teased me so much that we had a good laugh with it.  He was trying to re-title my posts like the poem I wrote in my dire depression as "The One With Nangungulila", hehehe.  He’s quite a teaser, ain’t he?

     Nakakamiss tuloy ‘tong Kalbong ‘to, hehe… well, who won’t miss that intellectual being combined with a rare kind of sense of humor. =)

We’ve been quite busy during the past few weekends driving from place to place.  Last Friday, we drove 9.5 hours to Atlanta, Georgia, not to go sight seeing though, we’ve been to Atlanta a couple of times or so already, but to party with our friends – it’s Donnie’s birthday.

Party started last Friday, but we got to the place at around 3 am EST Saturday.  Everyone was there, well, almost.  We all got to know each other in NC so almost all visitors came from there, but since a lot of us have moved due to work related reasons, those who moved very far didn’t make it to the party:

1. Mommy Odette and her family moved to Baltimore, MD since she was assigned there now, and couldn’t make it since it is about 11 hours drive.  We miss them very much, especially Brendan and Pauline.

2. Rojie and Zorina who moved to Connecticut initially for a vacation but stayed there until everything is settled.  We don’t blame them for not coming coz it’ll be a 16 hour drive ( I think so).

3. Ate Amy, Tolits and Aldwin who are staying in Baton Rouge, LA but drove to Columbia, SC for the weekend to pick up their vehicle.

4. Ka Resty and Family.  Ka Resty had to work for the weekend, he’s in New Orleans, but his family is in Raleigh.

5. Anton who need to be with his best friend Ek in Dallas and he had to attend a Debut Party.

I’m sorry I am not good with names, and I think I may have forgotten a family in my list, I am really sorry for that.

We had quite a few events during the 3 days of partying and I must say, our drive is really worth every single minute of being with our friends.  Aside from taking Donnie to the hospital last Sunday – his birthday because he had too much to drink, everything went on fine.  This is one party we will never ever forget.  I just wish there are more get-togethers to come, and I hope we stay near with the others so it’ll not be too long a drive.

I am kind of writing a short story, but I seem to be uninspired.  Well, I have neatly typed the whole two pages for about two weeks now and here I am — at a loss.

I have been distracted by the last episodes of Charmed being re-run in TNT, then after that they are re-running the first season, which I am watching for the first time.  And my current addiction to Bituing Walang Ningning has given me nothing but more blank pages.  And more blank pages to come since it’s Gilmore Girls new season.  Is my TV being worn out?

Just when I was about to continue running my imagination to complete this story vaulted in my brain, I noticed that the hotel room was a mess and I have to clean up (though housekeeping does that every day). Is my room too cluttered? Or was it (being cluttered I mean) my mind.

Someone inspire me please…

Nangungulila…

Sa ilang mga panahong tayo’y nagkalayo

pilit kong hinuhulma ang iyong wangis sa aking pag iisip.

Pilit ibinabalik ang mga alaala ng nakaraan

Pilit hinahanap ang iyong mukha sa gitna ng kaguluhan.

Umaasa…

Na sa kabila ng lahat ay tayo’y magkitang muli

at masilayan ang iyong mukhang

mula noo’y sa panaginip ko na lamang nakikita.

Umaasang sa kabila ng lahat ay ika’y makausap man lamang.

     As it is Labor Holiday last Monday, hubby and I headed to another weekend trip to get away fro m the stressful work and scorching heat, and since we have been driving a lot this past months, and San Francisco being 2 days and 4 hours away via a 12 hour daily drive, we took the first flight out from Dallas Forth Worth International Airport to San Francisco. 

     It has been a busy labor weekend for hubby, me and Kuya Bry and Ate Ethel, our tour guides =).  We experienced a lot of hassles on the flight to and from, but it’s all worth it.  Our luggage got delayed and went to the next flight (1:30pm) from ours (11am) and we have to pick it up again from the airport, at least it was only hours of waiting, we really thought it will ruin our vacation, but fortunately, it didn’t. And on our flight back to Dallas, our flight got delayed, and our seats got mixed up, and when we’re finally boarding we noticed that the passes does not belong to us and should board a plane to Burbank, so at the last minute we had our passes changed, talk about hassle.  And lastly, when we got to our car at the Nokia parking lot in Irving, TX, the cars batt got empty, apparently we left a light on… geez.

     San Francisco and Daly City are two great cities, apart from them being Filipino towns, the weather was great, it feels as if fall has started, if only the temp here in Shreveport is anywhere near theirs, I’d be more than thankful. 

      We had six days of vacation and we started immediately.  From the SFO airport, we headed immediately to Jollibee (after picking up Tita Mina - Ate Ethel’s mom, and Angelica - their little Angel) and had a wonderful lunch cum merienda.  Hubby and I ate palabok and Jolly Hot dog, while they had the usual Spaghetti and Chicken Joy.  That meal was long been awaited for, the last time we had palabok was way back in March before we came back here in US after the wedding. 

  Here’s our vacation in a nutshell:

  We had a road tour on our first night across Daly City and San Francisco, went down the crookedest street in the world, unfortunately it’s too dark for pictures so we had to come back on the 5Th day.   

    On our second day we went to San Jose to meet up with my cousins and nephews. We had a glimpse of the Golden Gate Bridge this day and a few pictures at the Palace of Fine Arts. 

    Third day we had a 3 hour (I guess) drive to Sacramento to pick up my in-laws but made a stop at the Vacaville Premium Outlet first to buy a polo for Bong to wear on the Christening. 

    Then it’s Angelica’s Christening on the 4Th day, and in the afternoon we shopped around for Filipino goods.

    Come Monday, Labor Day that is, we had an itinerary to finish up with the tours, so we hit the Golden Gate Bridge once again, but this time at the Sausalito part coz views are much better there.  Then we went to The Japanese Tea Garden, Fisherman’s Wharf, Crookedest street for pictures, San Francisco City hall and Downtown for a little window shopping.  We didn’t get into Alcatraz though, apparently, 6 days is not enough.

    On our last day (sigh), we didn’t go to any more tours coz we have to finish up some documents and other legal stuff.

    So there, vacation in a nutshell… I couldn’t write some more… my muse seem to have left the building.  We had a good time, we really did, and our hosts are so great that we gained a few pounds during that vacation.  We are definitely coming back, but not in the near future, maybe next year, and if we’re lucky to get a project on the West, we are surely taking it so we can be with our loved ones more often. 

    And to wrap up this uninspired post, we’d like to extend our thanks to Mr. and Mrs. Bryan Roque for a wonderful weekend and to my cousins in San Jose for a wonderful dinner.

•     For snapshots of San Francisco please visit my Pbase Gallery.
•     For our pictures, just check our Photo Album.